Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships
People may know what a healthy romantic relationship looks like, but most don’t know how to get one. Psychologist and researcher Joanne Davila describes how you can create the things that lead to healthy relationships and reduce the things that lead to unhealthy ones using three evidence-based skills – insight, mutuality, and emotion regulation.
Infidelity: What every couple should know
Dr. Harley provides helpful information about infidelity and how to recover. His expertise on the subject of infidelity is the product of helping thousand of couples through the pain of restoring their marriage into a relationship that both the husband and wife enjoy.
How To Stop Your Partner from Cheating
Esther Perel shares that affairs are about regaining a lost sense of novelty, freedom, emotional connection, and a “lost part of ourselves”.
Demon Dialogues
“Demon Dialogues” is a phrase coined by Dr. Sue Johnson to describe the destructive cycles of conflict experienced by many couples. There are 3 main Demon Dialogues that trap couples in no-solution emotional starvation and insecurity. Learn more about The Three Demon Dialogue That Can Wreck Your Relationship written by Dr Sue Johnson.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
Dr. Sue Johnson uses Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to work with a couple having communication problems after the husband has returned from military duty. In this snapshot of a session, Sue Johnson helps the couple conceptualizes their conflicts in attachment terms, gain an understanding of their negative cycle, and begin to reveal some of the vulnerable feelings that underlie their explosive anger.
The 5 Love Languages
Many relationships fail not because couples don’t put in the effort, but because they are expressing their love in the “wrong” ways. When you learn to understand and speak your spouse’s love language, you will be able to effectively express your love and truly feel loved in return. According to Dr. Chapman, there are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.
The Attachment Theory – How Childhood Affects Life
We all handle relationships in different ways. According to Attachment Theory, there are four main “attachment styles” which have a profound effect on our relationships. The Four Attachment Styles are: secure, anxious, avoidant and fearful. The attachment theory argues that a strong emotional and physical bond to one primary caregiver in our first years of life is critical to our development. If our bonding is strong and we are securely attached, then we feel safe to explore the world. If our bond is weak, we feel insecurely attached. We are afraid to leave or explore a rather scary-looking world. Because we are not sure if we can return. Often we then don’t understand our own feelings.
Secure, Insecure, Avoidant Ambivalent Attachment in Mothers & Babies
Love is Not Enough
Dr. Gabor Maté said that parents need to deal with their own stress and seek support as needed because attachment patterns have a multigenerational aspect. When parents focus on the comfort, security and happiness of their young child, the child benefits and so do future generations. The human brain develops, not only according to genetics, but largely in response to input from the environment. In other words, a baby’s capacity for intimate relationships, connection, self-regulation, attention and stress regulation are directly shaped by the emotional availability of the parents.
Love is To Evolve
According to Michael Brown, we have spent our whole life unconsciously attempting to live up to the conditions we thought would earn us unconditional love since childhood. Unfortunately, unconditional love isn’t an experience we can force others to channel in our direction through drama. All attention we attract through drama is by its nature conditional. The truth is Love is who and what we are. Unconditional love is when we learn to be with ourselves without condition.
Importance of Knowing Your Real Emotions
This is an educational film about what are emotions and how do they work. Your real emotions let you know what you really need. You will feel and function better when you are aware of and deal with your real emotions even if they’re painful.
How to Build Trust
The renowned marriage expert Dr. John Gottman explains the importance of trust and that couples build trust in the small moments of a relationship, when we’re emotionally attuned to our partner.
Relationship Repair that Works
All couples argue. Successful couples repair. Relationship conflicts give couples opportunity to understand each other better over time. Sometimes these conflicts can get heated, however, and partners can say things they don’t mean. Dr. John Gottman describes a repair attempt as “any statement or action — silly or otherwise — that prevents negativity from escalating out of control.”
The Easiest Way to Improve Relationship
The easiest way to improve your relationship is to pay attention to your partner during life’s small, everyday moments. You can choose to TURN TOWARDS your partner in these moments and accept their bids to connect, or TURN AWAY and ignore their bids. Every time you choose to turn towards, you make a deposit in your Emotional Bank Account. Notice when your partner makes a bid. Show interest, ask questions, nod, listen, and put away your screens.
In healthy relationships, the ratio of positive behavior (showing interest, asking questions, being kind) to negative behavior (criticism, anger, hurt feelings) is 5:1. Keep your balance high by doing nice things every day for your partner and recognizing when they do nice things for you.
Soothing the Threatened Brain
A landmark study conducted by Dr. Sue Johnson and neuroscientist Dr. Jim Coan, shows how a good and secure loving bonds can help to soothe our threatened brain.
The study is called “Soothing the Threatened Brain” and is based on the idea that when human beings feel safe and close and loved, contact with their loved one is a natural antidote to the fear and uncertainty we all face in life. Studies on adult attachment tell us that secure bonds have a naturally calming effect on us. Our partners have a huge impact on us – they can help us bring our bodies and our emotions into equilibrium – into balance.
The New Frontier of Sex & Intimacy
Dr. Sue Johnson, bestselling author of “Hold me Tight” and “Love Sense.” She’s a clinical psychologist and professor, and the creator of a new type of relationship therapy: emotionally focused couples therapy. She has also trained thousands of therapists around the world.
Her research on bonding science discovers that a good sex is where couples feel safe and have emotional connection with each other while making love. When the heart is open and when couples feel safe in sexuality, there are infinite number of discoveries that can go on. You can’t play when you’re anxious. You can’t play when you’re fearful. You can’t play when you don’t trust. So when couples having trouble with safety, they do not have satisfying sex. Safe emotional engagement is the key ingredient in relationship that turns couple on in bed and out of bed.